The Danger of Thinking
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties, now and then to loosen up.
Inevitably, one thought led to another, and I became more than a social thinker.
I began to think alone... to relax, I told myself. I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me. Finally, I was thinking all the time.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop.
I began to avoid friends at lunch, so I could read Thoreau and Emerson. I would return to my cubicle dizzy and confused. I began to question "What are we doing here?"
Things weren't going well at home either. One night I turned the TV off and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent the night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said "Skippy, I like you and it hurts me to say this, but you have a real thinking problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you will have to find work elsewhere." This really gave me something to think about.
I went home early. "Honey, I confess, I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking and I want a divorce," she replied.
"It can't be that serious," I replied
"It si serious," she said, her lower lip aquivering. "You think as much as college professors, and they don't make much money. If you keep on thinking, we won't have any money either."
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. I got in my car and headed for the library. I was in the mood for some good Nietzche. The PBS radio station had a lively commentary.
The library was closed. To this day I believe it was because of a Higher Power. As I sank to the ground whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" You may recognize the line from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
That's why I am here today... a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we have a non educational video, last week it was Porky's. The we share experiences and how to avoid thinking.
I still have my job and life at home is a lot better. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, since I stopped thinking.