I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Benny (1894 - 1974)
There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
Dame Edna Everage (1934 - )