I particularly liked number four, but three tickled my sense of humour.
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen (1935 - )
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937)
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright (1955 - )
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?