When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
Clarence Darrow (1857 - 1938)
For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution; and it is always wrong
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956), Mencken's Metalaw
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
And because they are worth the extra effort, here are the ones for yesterday as well.
I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
Woodrow Wilson (1856 - 1924)
People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.
A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963)
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
Hmm ... aggressive stupidity ... don't we all know someone like that?