I particularly liked the fourth quote :)
I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642)
'Who are you and how did you get in here?' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.'
Leslie Nielsen (1926 - ), as Lieutenant Frank Drebin, "Police Squad"
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'...they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git'....