Saki (1870 - 1916), "The Square Egg", 1924
Never eat more than you can lift.
Both the cockroach and the bird would get along very well without us, although the cockroach would miss us most.
Joseph Wood Krutch (1893 - 1970)
Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - )