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Peter Sheil

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May 2nd, 2003

Quotes of the Day [May. 2nd, 2003|08:49 am]
Peter Sheil
"What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really
the cost of high living." --Doug Larson

"Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at
being incompetent." --Laurence J. Peter

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)

No man ever listened himself out of a job.
Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933)

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.
Hesketh Pearson, Common Misquotations (1934), Introduction
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:) [May. 2nd, 2003|08:52 am]
Peter Sheil
Two jokes to brighten your morning

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife
suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing
diapers.

"I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one."

The next time came around and she asked again. The husband
narrowed his eyes as he looked at his wife. "I didn't mean
the next diaper. I meant the next baby."

This one is a real "groan" - you have been warned :)

After I recovered from surgery, my family suggested that I
write thank-you notes to everyone who sent gifts and cards.
I agreed that it was a nice idea, and I asked my daughter
to buy several books of 'Love' stamps at the post office.

Upon returning, my daughter said, "I asked for books of Love
stamps, but the clerk told me they were out of books. And
all he could give me was 'Love' in the sheets."
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Letter from the Management [May. 2nd, 2003|10:16 am]
Peter Sheil
Dear Employee:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel).
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