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Peter Sheil

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March 27th, 2003

Morning joke [Mar. 27th, 2003|11:08 am]
Peter Sheil
The owner of a well-established firm of wholesalers was inter-
viewing people for a position in sales. One candidate offered
excellent references and experience and was well-dressed and
well-spoken. The only catch was a disconcerting mannerism: the
fellow couldn't seem to stop winking.

So the sales manager decided to be frank, "You've got all the
qualifications for the job and I'd really like to hire you,
but I'm afraid that facial tic of yours might put customers
off."

"I'm glad you brought that up, sir," said the sales candidate,
"because all I need to make that annoying wink go away is a
couple of aspirin. See for yourself, I've got some on me."
And he began emptying his pockets on the desk.

The prospective employer was startled to see dozens of
packages of condoms piling up: ribbed ones, lubricated ones,
multicolored ones, every variety imaginable.

"Aha," cried the young man happily, "here they are." He
brandished two aspirin, swallowed them , and sure enough, the
tic went away in less than a minute.

"So much for the wink," said the sales manager sternly,
gesturing at the mountain of rubbers, "but what about all this
stuff here? I don't want my company to be represented by some
wild womanizer, after all."

"No fear. I'm a happily married man."

"So how can you account for the contents of your pockets?"

"It's simple, sir. Did you ever go into a drug store, winking
like crazy, and ask for a packet of aspirins?"
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Groan [Mar. 27th, 2003|11:24 am]
Peter Sheil
Contrary to popular belief, most blondes do indeed know the
value of a dollar. The other day a blonde from Atlanta had
her car break down. The tow truck driver charged her $65.00
to take the car to the garage less than 10 miles away.

When she told her husband that evening, he said that the
driver had taken advantage of her.

She said, "I thought so. But I made him earn it. I kept the
brakes on all the way."
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