By the time we've made it, we've had it.
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
John Barrymore (1882 - 1942), last words
Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings.
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
Paul Valery (1871 - 1945)
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman below replied “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an engineer” said the balloonist.
“I am,” replied the woman. “How did you know?”
“Well” answered the balloonist “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”
The woman below responded “You must be Management.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”