February 19th, 2002

Life 2 (based on icon from tamnonlinear)

Amazing facts?

I don't know how true any of this is (in fact I am seriously doubtful about most of them), but it made interesting
reading...

1. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames
by ropes when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight
& sleep tight."

2. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that
for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply
his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a
honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based; this
period was called the honey month or what was known today as
the honeymoon.

3. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in
old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would
yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down.
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."

4. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle
baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they
needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

5. In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you
had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family).
When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the
King; the King gave them a placard that they hung on their
door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K.
(Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know
where that came from.

6. In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled
Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF
entered into the English language.

peter
Life 2 (based on icon from tamnonlinear)

Tombstones

Hello, some more funnies - this time from tombstone inscriptions.
Enjoy
peter

Seen on a tombstone in England

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went.

This one from the grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard,
Pennsylvania, is almost a consumer tip:

Here lies Ellen Shannon who was fatally burned March 21, 1870,
by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
Life 2 (based on icon from tamnonlinear)

Preacher joke

The preacher was preaching with all his might. The subject was
sin, and he was most certainly 'against' sin.

A girl, with a wonderful figure, and not nearly enough clothes
to hide much skin, came in late. She strode down the center
aisle, close to the front and sat down.

It was plain to the preacher that he had lost the men in his
audience to this voluptuous sex-object.

He shook a fist at her and said, "You are the Jezebel the good
book tells us about. You have got the mind of every man in
this building on evil thoughts. But I am a man of God! You
don't affect me, and right now up in Heaven, you fallen woman,
Saint Finger is shaking his Peter at you!"