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December 20th, 2001

Good Advice [Dec. 20th, 2001|07:52 am]
Peter Sheil
From an e-news letter I get - hope it doesn't cause too many shivers :)

Blessed Be
peter

The following is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda. Now an anaconda is the largest snake in the world. It is a relative of the boa constrictor, it grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs between three and four hundred pounds at the maximum. This is what the manual said:

If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another. Tuck your chin in.

The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body.

Do not panic.

After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet - always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles.

Do not panic.

The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.

Be sure you have your knife.

Be sure your knife is sharp.
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Here is the news [Dec. 20th, 2001|10:24 am]
Peter Sheil
Here is a news letter of news!. Some stories are repeated in diferent categories.
bb
peter
============================================================
Thursday, 20 December, 2001, 10:00 GMT 10:00 Europe/London
============================================================
BBC NEWS
============================================================

------------------------------------------------------------
Top Stories
------------------------------------------------------------
* Argentina plunges into turmoil *
At least seven people are killed as mass protests over Argentina's spiralling
economic crisis force the resignation of the economy minister.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1720000/1720607.stm

* Anti-terror progress to be revealed *
The UK and US are to publish reports on action taken to fight terror in the 100
days since the 11 September atrocities.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/uk_politics/newsid_1720000/1720467.stm

* Hamas may end suicide attacks *
The militant Islamic group Hamas, under pressure from the Palestinian Authority,
considers suspending suicide attacks against Israelis.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/middle_east/newsid_1720000/1720264.stm

* Ministers set to press Zimbabwe *
Commonwealth ministers meeting in London may take the first steps to punishing
Zimbabwe for failing to uphold the rule of law.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/africa/newsid_1720000/1720595.stm

* Fans back Bowyer (BBC Sport) *
Leeds' fans and players show their solidarity with Lee Bowyer during the win
over Everton.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/sport/hi/english/football/eng_prem/newsid_1720000/1720431.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
World
------------------------------------------------------------
* Argentina plunges into turmoil *
At least seven people are killed as mass protests over Argentina's spiralling
economic crisis force the resignation of the economy minister.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1720000/1720607.stm

* Hamas may end suicide attacks *
The militant Islamic group Hamas, under pressure from the Palestinian Authority,
considers suspending suicide attacks against Israelis.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/middle_east/newsid_1720000/1720264.stm

* Pakistan rounds up al-Qaeda militants *
The United States praises Pakistan for capturing "hundreds" of al-Qaeda
militants who fled from Afghanistan.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/south_asia/newsid_1720000/1720470.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
Americas
------------------------------------------------------------
* Argentina plunges into turmoil *
At least seven people are killed as mass protests over Argentina's spiralling
economic crisis force the resignation of the economy minister.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1720000/1720607.stm

* US trade soars to recovery *
The US trade deficit returns to pre-attack levels after having slumped in
September when foreign insurers paid out on post-attack claims.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/business/newsid_1719000/1719660.stm

* Ground Zero fires finally out *
The fires that have been burning in the debris of the World Trade Center since
11 September have finally gone out.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1720000/1720423.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
Europe
------------------------------------------------------------
* Norway demands UK nuclear rethink *
Norway threatens legal action against the British Government over the Sellafield
nuclear plant.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1719000/1719216.stm

* Portugal seeks end to political crisis *
Portugal's president is hosting two days of talks to decide whether to call
fresh elections, after the prime minister's surprise resignation.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/europe/newsid_1719000/1719784.stm

* Pre-Christmas strikes hit Eurostar *
Eurostar cancels some cross-channel services as drivers strike in France, and
train managers prepare for industrial action in London.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/business/newsid_1719000/1719389.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
UK
------------------------------------------------------------
* Anti-terror progress to be revealed *
The UK and US are to publish reports on action taken to fight terror in the 100
days since the 11 September atrocities.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/uk_politics/newsid_1720000/1720467.stm

* Fans back Bowyer (BBC Sport) *
Leeds' fans and players show their solidarity with Lee Bowyer during the win
over Everton.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/sport/hi/english/football/eng_prem/newsid_1720000/1720431.stm

* Double strike lifts England (BBC Sport) *
India steady the ship after England's Andrew Flintoff clinches two early wickets
in Bangalore. Latest: 56-2.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/sport/hi/english/cricket/england/newsid_1720000/1720560.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
UK Politics
------------------------------------------------------------
* Anti-terror progress to be revealed *
The UK and US are to publish reports on action taken to fight terror in the 100
days since the 11 September atrocities.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/uk_politics/newsid_1720000/1720467.stm

* Noisy neighbours face crackdown *
More noisy neighbours will be prosecuted or have hi-fi equipment confiscated
under plans outlined by Environment Minister Michael Meacher.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/uk_politics/newsid_1720000/1720198.stm

* End monarchy absurdity, urges MP *
Laws making it an offence for people to say they intend to abolish the monarchy
could be dropped under a Labour MP's new plans.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/uk_politics/newsid_1720000/1720325.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
Sci/Tech
------------------------------------------------------------
* Third genetic 'chapter' published *
Researchers say they have made a breakthrough which could help develop drugs to
combat several genetic diseases.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1717000/1717396.stm

* Life's sweet start *
Sugar from space may have helped life to begin on planet Earth billions of years
ago.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1719000/1719236.stm

* British birds stage patchy recovery *
The numbers of some UK bird species are increasing according to new government
figures, but farmland birds are not.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1719000/1719946.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
Business
------------------------------------------------------------
* Argentina plunges into turmoil *
At least seven people are killed as mass protests over Argentina's spiralling
economic crisis force the resignation of the economy minister.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1720000/1720607.stm

* UK economic growth revised up *
The UK economy grew faster than previously thought during the year to September,
new official statistics show.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/business/newsid_1720000/1720952.stm

* AT&T and Comcast create cable giant *
Two US cable gaints agree a $72bn deal merger to create the world's largest
broadband business.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/business/newsid_1720000/1720706.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
Education
------------------------------------------------------------
* Teachers could be paid for planning *
The government asks a review of teachers' pay to consider how to give staff paid
time to plan lessons.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/education/newsid_1720000/1720508.stm

* New call for ban on smacking *
Social workers dealing with children who have been hit say a change in the law
would help them in their work.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/uk/newsid_1720000/1720199.stm

* William's university 'most elitist' *
St Andrews, the university attended by Prince William, has the poorest record
for recruiting students from state schools.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/hi/english/education/newsid_1717000/1717886.stm

------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright BBC 2001
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Spot on [Dec. 20th, 2001|11:08 am]
Peter Sheil

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
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A poem for all computer users [Dec. 20th, 2001|11:33 pm]
Peter Sheil
from "The Boogie Woogie Beagle Boy from Company B"
by Les Barker

Auntie Beryl's New PC

Internal hard drive, strong to save,
Drive C or D, master or slave,
O keep our every gigabyte,
Our data safe both day and night;
Let all that is now always be
On Auntie Beryl's new PC.

O Lord forgive the helplessness
Of we who use Outlook Express;
O guard us with thy primal force
Against kakworm and Trojan horse
And keep our emails virus free
On Auntie Beryl's new PC.

O Bill! Whose voice the waters heard,
Who bid them Hush in MS Word,
Please keep us all, while we have breath,
Safe from thy blue screen of death
For we installed Windows XT
On Auntie Beryl's new PC.

O raise your voice in whirr or beep!
Say, art tou dead or dost thou sleep?
I press control, alt and delete
Though all my work is incomplete
And gone into eternity
In Auntie Beryl's new PC.

Internal hard drive, where art thou?
The file I had is not there now.
the seed I've sown, I shall not reap;
(A)bort / (R)etry / (B)reak down and weep.
A thousand million curses be
On Auntie Beryl's new PC.


View Les Barker's Site



Les is touring in USA and New Zealand early next year - check out his web site and go and see him live if you can. Say Peter sent you - or if he looks confused say that I'm a lonely little lemming and he'll recognise me :)

Blessed Be
peter

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