BBC radio 2 announced Clifford T Ward is dead.
"I could write a song which made you laugh -
That would be funny"
How about a bit of wisdom from children:
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.
Hannah, age 9
Never tell your Mom her diet's not working.
Michael, age 14
Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to.
Emily, age 10
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
Taylia, age 11
A puppy always has bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac.
Andrew, age 9
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
Kyoyo, age 11
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Naomi, age 15
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
Joel, age 10
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone.
Alyesha, age 13
Never try to baptize a cat.
Eileen, age 8
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Patrick, age 10
:) Made my morning.
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a
doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one
accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used
to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick
to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably
been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount
you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that
woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the
floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half
dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably
making her sick."
"Huh," the younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. I think I'll try
that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking
with an elderly woman. She complained that she just didn't have
the energy she once did. "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."
"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the
younger doctor told her. Perhaps you should cut back a bit and
see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost
certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"
"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my
stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the
preacher under the bed."