Peter Sheil (petersheil) wrote,
Peter Sheil
petersheil

CLASSIFIEDS :)

The following were taken from actual classified ads in
newspapers:


AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE
89 cents

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GET A LITTLE JOHN:
THE TRAVELING URINAL
HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

AMERICAN FLAG
60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED
$100

NOTICE:
TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE
PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE:
PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED.
PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE.
ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175.

KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box

FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.
Ths last one has my mind boggling!

Peace
peter
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