So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!
Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!
I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!
My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
If you don't like my standards of cooking... lower your standards.
A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall
never cease to be amused.
Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone
on to lead normal lives.
I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.