||[Sep. 26th, 2002|07:39 am]
The professor announced to his class, "Today we will experiment|
with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple:
each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her
immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph
of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and
then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will
then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember
to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the
story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and
anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story
is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was turned in by two English students, Rebecca
First paragraph by Rebecca:
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings
at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must
now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the
Second paragraph by Gary:
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things
to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic
bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over
a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation17," he said into his
transgalactic communicator, "Polar orbit established. No sign
of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him
flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers
of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The
news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out
the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's
innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully...
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-
witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left Earth a
defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet.
With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their
diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam,
felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,
stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President
slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this!
I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
"Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort
of F#$%@# TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads
too many Danielle Steele novels."
You wish; eat shit.
F&*% YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
Go drink some tea - whore.
A+ - I really liked this one.
The reason I posted this is that I had thought of having a joint writing project - a bit like the tandem story. Would anyone be interested in doing something like that? I'll do a poll so you can let me know.
Should Peter have a multi-person writing project?
Would you want to take part in it?
Maybe .. not sure
What type of organisation would you prefer? (you can choose more than one)
Writing in pairs - each person writes alternate paragraphs
Writing in group in turn - in a group of 4 you write each fourth paragraph
Writing in group in semi-random order - either the writer passes it on to a specific person or you bid to get the turn to write
Writing in group in random order - people are assigned random numbered paragraphs to write
Any other comments or suggestions?