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Some Jokes with a religous flavour [Sep. 17th, 2002|12:36 pm]
Peter Sheil
"In the beginning the world was without form, and void. And
God said 'Let there be light'. And God separated the light
from the dark. And did two loads of laundry."
-Kevin Krisciunas


The pastor was talking to a group of young children about
being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he
asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Heaven!" they all piped up.

"And what do you have to do to get there?"

"Be dead!"


So there are these two bees and one bee asks the other,
"Where can I get something to eat around here?"

The second bee replies, "Well, there is a Bar Mitzvah going
on down the street, about half a mile, should be plenty of
flowers and pastries to eat."

The first bee thanks him and heads off to the party.

A little while later, the first bee returns, with a bloated
belly and a yarmulke on his head.

He tells the second bee, "I found it, it was awesome! So
many fresh flowers, so many sweet pastries!"

The second bee asks him, "So what's with the yarmulke? Did
you convert?"

The first bee replies, "I wore it so they wouldn't think I
was a WASP."


The crowd had cornered a woman and was preparing to stone

Jesus raised his hand and spake, "Let he among you who is
without sin cast the first stone."

From the back of the crowd a small woman picked up a huge
rock and staggered toward to poor victim.

Jesus pointed a finger at her and said, "Stop it MOM! I
was just trying to make a point!"


[User Picture]From: desert_fae
2002-09-17 06:06 am (UTC)
There is a man in the woods who was bear hunting. All of a sudden a bear comes up behind him and starts to ravage him.
The man was an athiest and decided to pray "Lord, I never prayed before, but I know if you make the bear Christian it would solve everything, not me tho Lord, just make the bear a Christian."
and the bear stops, puts his hands neatly together, and prays "We thank you Lord for the food we are about to receive."
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: petersheil
2002-09-17 06:27 am (UTC)


:) LoL
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)