God said 'Let there be light'. And God separated the light
from the dark. And did two loads of laundry."
The pastor was talking to a group of young children about
being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he
asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven!" they all piped up.
"And what do you have to do to get there?"
So there are these two bees and one bee asks the other,
"Where can I get something to eat around here?"
The second bee replies, "Well, there is a Bar Mitzvah going
on down the street, about half a mile, should be plenty of
flowers and pastries to eat."
The first bee thanks him and heads off to the party.
A little while later, the first bee returns, with a bloated
belly and a yarmulke on his head.
He tells the second bee, "I found it, it was awesome! So
many fresh flowers, so many sweet pastries!"
The second bee asks him, "So what's with the yarmulke? Did
The first bee replies, "I wore it so they wouldn't think I
was a WASP."
The crowd had cornered a woman and was preparing to stone
Jesus raised his hand and spake, "Let he among you who is
without sin cast the first stone."
From the back of the crowd a small woman picked up a huge
rock and staggered toward to poor victim.
Jesus pointed a finger at her and said, "Stop it MOM! I
was just trying to make a point!"